


romance is dead (and you'll never know why)

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Letters, M/M, Suicide, Trans Roxy Lalonde
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27586781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Relationships: Jake English/Dirk Strider, Jane Crocker/Roxy Lalonde
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	romance is dead (and you'll never know why)

Sixteen years old.  
Sixteen years old is when you fell in love with him.  
And twenty-two years old is when your life would make sense. 

A cold winter morning wasn't enough to keep you in bed, as it was the day he would go to his new home, far from where he lived once, and far from where you met him for the first time. Getting out of the bed was not so of an easy task to do, as every morning, a silent yet deadly feeling of dread and regrets weight into your shoulders. 

Nonetheless, the now unrequited love for a boy that was once the one you promised future marriage kept you going. 

The terrazzo flooring was almost as cold as the ice from the refrigerator, ice spikes making all your weak body shiver in pain. "Damn," you obnoxiously winced: 'It's not like anybody hears me, anyways.' a familiar yet distant voice said in your mind.  
After long 90 minutes of battling with laziness and hard-felt feelings, you stood in front of the entrance door. 'Is this even worth it?' it's a phrase that's stuck to your mind, with a voice that even not the guy imagining it recognizes. 

It only took 20 short minutes of walking through the snowy, pale city of Parscher to get to the New Perlas station, shorter than battling through your daily thoughts, at least. 

And you saw him. A tall man with his heartwarming smile waving at you. His beautiful tanned skin and ebony, flowy hair being the center of the desaturated tones of the station. 

"Hey! Over here, man!" he shouted, hoping you would notice him, even though you already did. It was something you found interesting yet cute when still together. 

The man waited for a response, and you waited for him to come and hug you and hold you like it was the first date. Both being different interests, you only waved your hand, slowly walking towards him.  
"I didn't think I would actually get to see you before I part off, it's kind of a surprise," he greeted you with a handshake. 

You wanted to hold them for more than that. 

"Our other pals are also here, see? We can all have a last four-friended meeting!" he cheerily said, you were jealous of him. 

A short, chubby girl with red and perfect oval-shaped glasses waved her hand at you, you and her had a rather crazy friendship. 

The other tall dude, packed in three coats and his black lipstick highlighting his round face cheerily greeted you, he was drinking a creamed coffee. 

You exhaled, it was nice seeing them two here, but it wouldn't be for long. You only wanted to see him once and never again. "Hello dude," you greeted him first, "it's nice seeing you two too, hello by the way." you turned to the girl and the other boy, retaining your feelings from being noticeable. 

"Hey, what's up man!" the blonde haired acquantaince seemed interested in you, seeing as he gave you a tight yet lovely hug. 

"The sky," you answered, as always, your responses being overdosed in sarcasm. "not really much, what about you?" 

He laughed at your snarky comment, as he put his hands on the pockets of the third coat, posing a carefree stance, "Yeah, I'm cool as ever, this lady over here is an awesome girlfriend!" he side-hugged the chubby girl, her blushing madly over the affectionate act. It reminded you of your actually present ex-boyfriend's affection. 

"Congratulations on you two! You sure make hell of a lovebird style couple." the black-haired man happily sneered, his dimples were noticeable. Again, you were jealous. Jealous of that smile not being directed at you anymore. 

"Thank you, me and him are deeply in cahoots! Hoo-hoo!" the girl got over her embarassment, amazingly turning it in pride and euphoria. You were starting to get mad. 

"Oh jeez! My train is already here, I should get going," he panicked, it was classical for him to be late, you knew this. "I..." 

You saw a happy face convert to a melancholic face as quickly as the moon rises at 7 o'clock. 

"I'll miss you guys." he winced. 

"Aw dude don't be all wimpy! We can still chat and call each other! I'll miss your weird antics tho." the other man tightly hugged the other. 

"It's all going to be alright, make sure to prepare some of my cake recipes, it'll make you feel at home." the girl joined the hug, making sure her red vibrant lipstick didn't stain the others clothes. 

You didn't want to say anything, you knew it would be too hurtful to even do that. Everyone was waiting for you, nonetheless. 

"We all love you, don't forget us man." your eyes showed no expression, you joined the hug. 

It only lasted for a quarter of second, before the guy you'd never see again part to Alidias, to never return to Parscher, Halester. 

He ran towards the boarding entrance, but soon came back, he was handling a letter, and suddenly gave it to you. 

"Don't read it yet! When you get at your home, it'll be time to read it" he tried to sound happy, you knew he was hurting inside. 

"Alright, go board now." 

You all said your last goodbyes, and when you saw the train depart, it was time to go home. 

It was a 40 long minutes walk from the New Perlas station to your home. 

Your shaky hands opened the entrance door with the key to it, being once again left to the old, cold building. And once you were in, you collapsed into the floor, everything was blurry and you had a giant knot on your throat. It was painful. 

You glanced at the letter he handed to you before leaving, you knew it would be too painful to read. You still did it, nonetheless. 

In his fancy handwriting, he left a message to you. 

'Dearest Dirk, 

I know we are not in good terms, you know? The rupture of our romantic relationship was rather rough and unbalanced. I know you must hate me now, and I totally understand that, but let it be told that I do not hold any grudges.' 

He was rather of an also fancy person when it came to writing. 

'Because even if letting you go was hard, I still feel the need to tell you that those four years were the happiest of my whole life, and I couldn't thank you enough when we actually were together.' 

"You fucking idiot." you whispered. 

'So I am writing it for the last time on my life for now, maybe we'll meet again at the bridge of a luminous city? Or maybe it's just way too much movie scenes I've watched.' 

He could be cheesy at times. 

'I love you, and I will never stop loving you, I really wish you well in life and that you find true eternal love.' 

God, no, that was very cheesy of him now. 

'I hope you actually read this. 

Signed, Jake.' 

He's a fucking idiot, he has always been one. 

You couldn't help but break down in tears in your entrance door. As always, you were right, reading it would be too painful, you didn't pay attention to your own warning, though. He was right too, you could be a masochist sometimes. 

And in that same day, at 11 past half on the morning, Dirk Strider, first and last lover of Jake English, was found hanging on his own apartment. 

Because, as his last letter said, 'The romance is dead, and I was the cruel murderer of it.'


End file.
